DUBAI – Aleksandar Nikolić, an electrical engineer from the northern Serbian town of Ruma, whose dreams of success came to life in Abu Dhabi, lives with his wife Aleksandra in Dubai, and says his aim is to help everyone to learn and perfect the skill of success in life, and says that his biggest personal success was finding a genuine lifelong partner.
“The relationship between spouses or partners for life is the most important relationship one can have”, he says.
Dr Nikolić, owner of the website School for Success and webinar lecturer in that subject, through very interesting and stimulating lectures by which he motivates and even creates the success of clients, seeks to instill in his pupils a spirit of optimism, curiosity, self-confidence, creativity and perseverance, a spirit badly needed by all those who want, plan, expect and deserve success, but also work on achieving it.
Dr Nikolić spoke to the House of Good News about important issues for all those who wish to take a step forward from a bare dream of success and intend to work on its realization.
Success is a Progressive Realization of a Worthy Ideal
What is success?
When we talk about success, most people focus on just one area in life, mainly linked to finances, profession and career. From quite a few people you can also get the answer: “Depends what is involved.”
To be successful in life the first thing we must learn is what success is, because, you will admit, it is difficult to realize something if we don’t know what it is we want to achieve. Success does not depend on “what is involved”, or is limited to just finances, profession and career. We achieve success or don’t achieve it in all areas of our lives. For that reason the “definition” of success should be such that it does not depend on the area in life about which we are speaking, i.e., it should be unique for all areas in life.
After 14 years of research and study Earl Nightingale came so such a definition of success , and according to many authors, success trainers and motivational speakers his definition continues to be the best definition of success. Earl said: “Success is a Progressive Realisation of a Worthy Ideal.” In this definition four concepts are exceptionally important: progressive, realization, worthy, ideal.
More information and a detailed explanation can be found in an article entitled “What is Success” on the website of the School for Success.
Earl Nightingale (1921-1989), was among the prioneers of writing motivational books and books in the area of self-help. On one occasion he said that if someone were to read for at least one a day about a specific subject, in five years he or she would become an expert in the given area; and in ten years would acquire as much knowledge as a PhD in that field.
Can success be measured?
Of course, it is possible to measure success, otherwise there would be no purpose to talk about it. However, most people do not know the definition given above and consequently cannot measure success. When trying to speak about how someone has been successful, most people compare the results achieved by that person with someone else’s. That is is quite wrong, because we are all unique and have unique objectives.
Success is measured by how far someone has progressed in realizing their own objective of objectives. Furthermore, the measure of success is unique for a certain goal. What does that mean? No such thing as 70-per-cent success exists, or something similar. You have either managed to attain a certain goal, or haven’t. The more of your aims you realize, the more successful a person you are, and vice-versa.
Do both the successful and the unsuccessful know what success is?
Successful people know clearly what success is. Maybe not everyone has heard Earl’s definition, but it is obvious that they know about the principles, rules and laws of success. The unsuccessful clearly do not know, or if some of them do know, they are too lazy to think and apply them in their own lives.
How do the successful achieve success, and why do the unsuccessful stay unsuccessful?
At this point I would like to reflect on something else. One cannot reach success, it is attained or not attained. And all those who achieve success achieve it in only one way, by respecting the rules, principles and laws of success. An innumerable number of reasons exist for failure, in other words, every failure has its own story. It isn’t rare to find unsuccessful people who find several reasons for a failure in a certain area.
The starting poing - a firm and irrevocable decision
How did you yourself trace and create your own road to success, how did you get to where you are, and what determined you the most on your road in life?
The starting point of every success is a firm and irrevocable decision. I decided firmly on several things. In particular that I did not want to accept the role of mediocrity in life. Secondly, not to allow anyone or anything to decide how I will live. Thirdly, to accept fully my own personal responsibility for all the good and bad that emanates from my decision, actions and activities.
I must admit that I had no idea at all how to realize it, but it did not prevent me from acting. Step by step, new ideas and new opportunities appeared, and the path became clearer, it gained its direction and meaning. I received a lot of help from my mentor Bob Proctor, by the ideas, thoughts and advice contained in his programs.
What do you regard as your biggest success and is there anything you are not satisfied with?
Most readers will probably not expect this response, but I regard as my biggest success in life that I have finally found my true and real mate for life, my genuine partner. The relationship between spouses or partners for life is the most important relationship one can have.
A majority will probably not agree because they think the relationship between parents and children is the most important relationship. But what about the parents? When you find your partner for life who backs you, who supports you in everything, in whom you can have absolute confidence, someone for whom you feel how she or he breathes and who feels how you breathe, you are blessed with the greatest treasure.
A genuine partner will always be a fair wind for your sails. From my own experience I have found that when you are going forward, progressing, it is much better to have a tail-wind than one from your front. I suppose your readers will agree with me.
Problems are just challenges
Of course there are many things with which I am not satisfied. You see, personal development is a continuous school and anyone who thinks about it seriously will agree that the moment we are fully pleased with our achievements we begin to regress. It’s a basic law of nature. Nothing is passive and nothing is ever the same. Or, as Bob Proctor would put it, either something new is being created, or something old disintegrated.
What are the problems with which there approach you clients who would want to move their lives from a state of vegetation and insufficient success, and did all of them really have sufficient predispositions for what they wanted to achieve? Can a limitation be defined how far someone can progress in view of his or her capabilities or is the boundary variable and does not depend solely on those capacities?
As many people as there are, there are a hundred times as many problems or challenges, because I teach people that problems are only challenges, but that’s another topic and deserves a separate space. There were some who “got stuck” somewhere on their path and required help for the next step, there were some who fought with “postponement”, one of the nastiest human habits, there were some who needed an incentive…
Talking about predispositions, I would not attribute much importance to that. What is most important is our potential, what we are capable of doing, and it’s limitless. No-one in this world can say what you or I are capable of doing. Look at Nick Vujičić, what predispositions did he have? But he showed the magnitude of human potential! If we realize that our potentials, our capabilities are unlimited, and that only by our own way of thinking we can restrict them, then there is practically no limit for success.
How does your School for Success Function?
The School for Success has several elements. The first is named the “Powerful Thoughts of the Successful”. It’s a free program and all those who apply get every Monday on their e-mails a thought uttered by a successful person with an added explanation and proposal for application in everyday life. So far there are almost 400 applicants.
The second is also an internet-based free program of introductory seminars named the “Main Question” where participants learn what is the primary cause of the results they achieve in life and how to alter their results. So far almost 300 participants attended the seminars. Of course, besides the free programs, those who want to elevate their results to a higher level in a short period have at their disposal the programs of Bob Proctor, either studying on their own or, if they want even quicker results, we work together, individually or in groups. Bob Proctor’s programs are in English, while I perform my training in Serbian via the internet, as I am not resident in Serbia.
Under preparation are several programs in Serbian, but all those who are interested will be informed about that when they are ready. I plan the first to be prepared in a short while.
What is your biggest success in the School for Success?
There were a number of events I regard as successes, like a lecture for entrepreneurs in Abu Dhabi, a seminar held in Kraljevo last year, the successful work of the Master Mind group...
In my opinion, the School for Success has progressed considerably beyond similar programs based in Serbia, primarily due to the applicability of ideas in practice. But what I regard as the biggest success is that thanks to the Powerful Thoughts of the Successful and the seminar the “Main Question” a large number of applicants and participants found a part of the puzzle called “success”. The e-mail address of the School for Success is receiving ever more messages of thanks and support. It tells me that the School for Success is on the right path.
You do not recognize “circumstances” as excuses for failures, a poor status and dissatisfaction with one’s own life. On what do you base this premise?
Historical facts, in particular. Read the biographies of the most successful people on the internet and you will see that by the circumstances in which they lived, their status, dissatisfaction with their own lives, and education they had no chance at all of being successful.
This proved correct in my own personal experience as well. I said in a prior interview that there was a period in my life when every day I counted my money to see if that day I could afford a half or a quarter of a loaf of bread to survive. I said that most people have no idea at all what that looks like.
On one of the social networks someone commented that he knew exactly what it looked like, because his circumstances were identical. I did not want to polemize, but those who knew exactly what it looks like have no opportunity to say so, because it means that money for the internet, a computer and mobile phone is simply non-existent. My circumstances during that period were such that what I am achieving now borders on science fiction.
Whi do I want to achieve something
Can you briefly tell us the strategy of achieving a goal which might be called realizing a status in life with which I could be satisfied? Can it really be learnt?
A strategy as a strategy for achieving success in any area of life, and even a life status, whatever that means, does not exist. People have learnt to look for a strategy, to look for a “scheme”, to look for tricks, to look for techniques or something similar. In essence, it means not accepting one’s own responsibility.
What do I mean? When by using a certain strategy, technique, tactics or anything similar they do not achieve the results they want, they explain it by saying that that strategy, technique or tactics does not work for them. For achieving success what is important are principles and rules of success. For those who learn that and begin applying it in everyday life every strategy, technique or tactics will give results.
In his programme and in his book “Think and Grow Rich“, Napoleon Hill said that the starting point of any success is the “finality of purpose”. What does that mean? It isn’t only important to define correctly what you want, it is much more important to know exactly why you want it. Most people have a problem with defining clearly why they want to achieve something.
The next principle is to draft a plan how you will realize what you want. Here, too, most people have a problem. They do not make a plan, because they do not know how they will realize it. You should know that for a plan you do not need to know how you will realize it. What is important to know is the first step you need to take.
The third principle is to begin immediately on realizing your plan. Here, too, most people fail, because they wait for the “necessary conditions to appear”, for “the right time to come” etc. Why is that the case? Because they do not think about what they can do at that moment, but about everything else they cannot achieve at that moment. One of the things that separates the successful from the unsuccessful is that those who are successful focus on what they can do and act immediately with what they have and wherever they are.
As a man who is successful with what he has achieved so far, what future tasks have you set for yourself? To what do you aspire?
What I have done so far brings me new ideas and new, much bigger goals. That is also one of the main principles of success. When you reach a certain point, the path along which you should continue will show itself.
I have set for myself quite lofty, but in any case achievable, aims. I do not know exactly how I will achieve them, but I know that I will. My aim is to help everyone to learn and master the skill of success in life, everyone who is ready to assume full responsibility for his or her life and the results he or she achieves in life, everyone who is ready to reject outdated patterns of thinking, to embrace new ones and consistently apply them in life.
My aim is for this to be the way in which the School for Success is recognizable in Serbia, for it to be a leader assembling people with an open mind who will work on the realization of joint projects.
About Aleksandar Nikolic
Aleksandar Nikolić is known by many internet users as the owner of the website School for Success (Success in life is a skill! What is it that they did not teach is in school!) and a lecturer on the webinar on that topic. He is also known as an electrical engineer who worked a lot in Serbia, but also elsewhere, from Panama, Russia and Oman to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, where he currently lives. Others remember him as a versatile sportsman, particularly by the fact that as the president of the Archery Federation of Yugoslavia (1993 and 1994) he succeeded with his colleagues at a time of international sanctions (also applied in sports) to return the Federation into the fold of the international organization and officially send our national team with all national colors to the indoor world championship in London. Colleagues from his days at the university remember his nickname Einstein, and in the meantime he acquired a PhD in project management, a certificate of professional project manager, a certificate of professional risk manager on projects, etc.
Source: House of Good News